THE WIT AND WISDOM OF THE WILLIAMS BOYS – AWARD NOMINATION !!! Notwithstanding my critics, in a general way I don’t care to blow my own trumpet about my Great Achievements. I find it funnier to report my pratfalls and invite other people to laugh at my expense. Still, there are no two ways about it: my mate Alan and I have been nominated for the excellence of our recent gig at the Buxton Festival Fringe, an event of such renown that it was missed by millions. I am understandably chuffed. Now though I’ve been writing novels for thirty years, the awards that have come my way have been thin on the ground. My friend and publisher, Nick Webb (of blessed memory), did nominate my novel Scherzo for the Booker – which is pretty snazzy on any view – but (according to Lionel the Pornographer) it was only because Nick didn’t expect the book to sell and therefore made a wild guess that I might inadvertently have produced Literature. In which case he seems to have been right on the first count but wrong on the second. As for this current nomination, imagine my surprise etcetera…. I have a suspicion that festivals are a bit like children’s parties and everyone must have a prize, but I shan’t be snotty: I’m pleased with any accolade that comes my way. A nomination for excellence is a nomination for excellence. Still, guys, couldn’t you have had pity on a poor decrepit author? Fair’s fair, huh? To repeat: I WRITE NOVELS ! Did you have to nominate me as an excellent small music ensemble? 30.7.12